Friday, September 05, 2008

It Started Off As A Cheerful Post

Good morning! I am off today. WooHoo!!!

It's nice and cool today and it should get up to only 74 degrees. Lovely weather. We had a great dinner last night. I love fresh vegetables, especially grilled. Yumm-O!!!

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.... about life. Life can really suck sometimes. Life can be overwhelming when you think too much about it. I can see how some people literally go crazy.

I think about my parents a lot. It's scary to know that one day, they won't be here. I don't think they are scared to die, but I do think they are afraid to leave their children and grandchildren. I know from being a mother myself, the hardest part about dying is knowing you will be leaving your children behind. I cry now just thinking about it.

As children, we dread the day our parents pass. The pain is unbearable, to the point of breaking a person. I don't know what I will do without my parents. They are reaching close to 55 and 57, almost 60 soon. There are now times where they talk about friends and acquaintances who have died. It's scary. It's scary because I know how much pain people go through. If I was single with no children or siblings, my wish would be to die before my parents. That way I wouldn't have to feel the pain. How selfish am I? I know that sounds bad, but I don't know how I could bear it.

Oh goodness! Such a sad post now. I guess they can't all be peaches and cream.

To my dear friend Jamie,

I am so sorry you are going through this now. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Your strength is admirable and inspirational. I wish you lived closer. I would give you a hug.

6 comments:

canvaschild said...

my dear abba girl,
thank you for this candid post. i too fear my parents' passing away... esp. my mother's. love u. em.

Queen-Size funny bone said...

I always thought personally my dying would be the easy part. But I don't want others to die and leave me behind.

just a girl... said...

My grandmother has been in the hospital twice over the past two weeks. This event has made me also question death and loosing my parents. I am 34 and I am right there with you, I don't know what I will do. It will absolutely break my heart. My mom have an open communication about this now, and plan to do things now to make that time easier. In reality the only thing you can do is be so grateful for the time you do have.

Lois Grebowski said...

Hubby and I both lost our last surviving parents in october and November.

Life without them is not the same.

We both feel like orphans

simonsays said...

Oh honey, what a sweet post and message to me. Just in case you don't already know it, I think you are pretty awesome and I have no doubt that your own mom feels the same.

Dying is part of life, and even though we all know that, losing someone close to us is something that we never get used to. However, for me at least, I believe completely that the loss is a temporary one, and that we will all be reunited on the other side. And that helps, alot. Losing our parents is so hard but it truly is the way that God meant it to work. My biggest fear in this life is losing one of my children and yet we both know that happens to parents each and every day. We are all terminal...but when the natural order of things is interrupted, it can be devastating. Just like I tell my own kids - all we can do is live this day like it's our last, letting everyone know all the time just how we feel about them. Beyond that, worrying about it all only takes away from the good life we have here and now.

Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. You are a good friend, but then I expected that you would be, look at what a good mother and daughter you are.

Have a happy Sunday. Hugs. :)

David Kim said...

Try not to worry too much about death. Your parents are still relatively young. My parents are older.