I Quit

I feel bad. I have been crying. Why do some people make you feel so bad? I am talking about the people that we care about so much (Randall), but they don't seem to care about you. What did I do to make you mad? Why do you always make me feel so bad? Why do you always have this affect on me? Why can't I get over you and the fact that you and I will never be the same friends we used to be? What did I do wrong? Tell me. You never tell me. You are always a closed book.

I know what it is. It's my curse. My generosity always gets me in this situation. I don't know how many times I am going to keep burning myself before I fully understand that I can't keep building the fire the same way. Why do I devote so much to others? I thought that Randall was going to be different. I was for sure that this friendship would break the cycle. Wrong. I was wrong. I fell in love with my friend and I couldn't help it. It has been a long time since then, but it still hurts anyway. It will never be the same. I quit.