It's Friday night. Guess where I am at? Home with absolutely nothing to do. I am too tired to go anywhere. It has been crazy busy at work. Today, I had a visitor from one of our Omaha stores. It was fun taking her around and showing her what our stores look like. They have huge box stores up there. All the room you could want to merchandise to your hearts content. Lucky dogs. I love merchandising displays. It's one of the things I like best about my job.
Question out there for the guys and girls. Why are guys so predictable? Whether it comes to sex, mannerisms, presents, you name it. After awhile, you become so predictable. What's up with changing it up a bit? Especially on the sex part. When I was with my kid's dad, I could pretty much nail it down to the second on what he was going to do. It was pretty pathetic. I would suggest changing it up a bit or even try to, but it always resorted back to the same routine. I guess we weren't really sexually compatible. But I was talking to one of my friends and she was saying how her boyfriend goes through the same routine in bed each time they "make love". It sounded so boring and methodical. Also, you always know when a guy is going to get pissed, especially if you see something that gets on his nerves. And the gifts. I would rather not get any. It is so painful to see guys get all uptight about what to get a girl. Actually, it's painfully comical. They just kind of shrug their shoulders, not quite knowing what to do. You know what I am talking about boys. You've done it many times before. You are lost because the female you are buying for has particular tastes, and this makes it difficult. This is why she chose you. All of this reminds me of some of my past relationships. So, all of you blogging people out there, do you have any answers to my question? I would really like to hear both sides if possible.
8 comments:
I know just what you mean about predictability. My X used to have certain "standard" orders at each restaurant we went to (and eventually, even standard restaurants, but that's a tale for another comment.) If they had burgers on the menu, he ordered a Bacon-Double-Cheeseburger. I asked him about it one time and he said something like needing to know that he would like it and not wanting to risk being hungry because he didn't like what he ordered.
Maybe the sex thing is the same? They know (or think they do) that move X-Y-Z will work and they are afraid of not, um, succeeding, so they sick with X-Y-Z every time.
Still just because a Bacon-Double-Cheesburger is good doesn't mean that the pecan crusted salmon won't knock your socks off...if you know what I mean.
I can't even get started about the presents.
Speaking as a representative of the Male sex of the species....
I would only put my foot in my mouth and say something totally stupid that would eventually get back to my spouse who would then kick me right square in the ass. You would be mad at me and I would have the local women's organizations picketing in front of my house.
So with all that said... I will respond in typical male fashion.
WHAT?????!!!!
Later Yall.....
Hello Abbagirl 74:
As a male who is daring to answer your posed questions, here is my take:
1. Predictability can be very calming and relaxing to us guys. While we often have a demeanor of calmness, reasonableness, and steadiness.... inside we are a bundle of emotions and fears like women are. For us the predictability tells us "all is right" and calms us and soothes our fears and worries in much the same what that I think "crying it out" does for women.
2. Becky did a good job identifying the food issue. While I tend to be reasonably adventuresome in resturants, often I *will* order the same things at the same resturants... partially because the predictability is comforting, but also because in that way I do not have to *think* about what to order... and sometimes that can be a tiresome chore.
3. Sex... again , becky did a good job... if XYZ succeeds, it is now a reliable part of the copulatory arsenal. Sometimes a guy wants sex to be simple, but at the same time he wants it to be successful... by using the known quantity of XYZ, he can choose to "not think" as much and just be within the experience more himself. Of course, when a guy feels adventuresome, he wants to try new things as well.
4. Presents... same thing basically. If he knows it works, it makes things easier. Risk aversion is a common thread here.
What I think this suggests in a nutshell is that your guy or any guy in the "routine rut" is likely a stressed guy who feels a bit overwhelmed in some aspect of his life and finds it comforting to have routine and sameness. If you can help him to find a way to decrease his feelings of stress or overwhelmingness... I think you could unleash a more creative, risk-taking guy. I know that when I a feel good and am not stressed, I am much more creative in all areas of my life.
PipeTobacco
Becky- I am all for both the cheeseburger and the pecan crusted salmon. I just don't want a cheeseburger every time, you know?
Melon- Oh, come on. I was hoping you would have something to say. All melon and no melon balls. What a shame. :)
Pipe- How about stress in my life? The "routine" is stressing me out. I am about ready to pull my hair out.
Gotcha. Just kidding. I am not shallow. I agree with what you said.
When it comes to gifts, I tell my husband what I want. Solves that problem. :^)
Hi Abba -
I'm an occasional reader of your blog, and while I'm sure I cannot be as eloquent as Pipe, I think that he does have some good points. I agree that the sameness in a relationship does help ease anxiety, I think also that it os a two - way street. Have you tried to spice things up on your end?
I tend to prefer the fun and exciting part of life - the unknown - and will not order the same food, or use the same sexual position, or get the same presents over and over - what fun is there in that? However, my partner needs to be of a like mind, and be open and acceptable to different things as well.
Just my two cents...
AB
Hmm, just about the only good thing I can say about my former hubby is that he was good in bed. Definitely not predictable! His secret, I think, is that he was a purveyor of porn. ;)
Post a Comment